Motivate Your Child To Read: Engaging and Motivating Reluctant Readers
Is "I don't want to!" or "I don't like reading!" a common refrain you hear from your reluctant reader? Nothing pierces the heart of a book-loving parent more than feeling like we can't share the joy of diving into a good book with our kids. On the opposite side of that coin, for parents who don't particularly love reading themselves, it can be emotionally draining to worry about whether our own dislike of literacy has somehow been genetically passed down to our kids!
No matter which side of the reluctant reader coin you're on, if your child is having a lot of negative experiences with reading and you want to reframe things for them, I want you to remember this phrase: Success breeds momentum and momentum breeds magic. If we can string together a series of really small successes for a reluctant reader, we can build momentum and a sense of budding, and eventually growing, confidence that will really start to keep them going, even if things are hard.
Sometimes, you need to actually take a step or two backwards in order to sort of rev up to move forward again. Try removing the pressure for a while. Let them choose the activities that feel easiest for them, or that give them the highest chance of success, even if it’s not exactly what they academically really need to be working on right now.
Remember, this is a long game. If frustration, resistance, or outright refusal is your child’s number one roadblock right now, no amount of academic input is going to overcome that emotional blockade. We have to hook them first, and then we can teach them. So, let them do literacy work at home that isn’t simply more skill drills, or forcing them to work on remediation that they find difficult or boring.
There is far more connection and bonding that we can build when reading and writing are presented through fun games, such as writing with sticks in mud or writing letters on Legos and building words with the blocks. Or, simply read to them from any book they choose, and if they decide halfway through that they don’t like the book and want a different one, just grit your teeth, smile, and say “Sure, let’s pick a different one! Reading should be fun, not stressful!” Respecting your child's endurance and frustration levels will increase your child's trust in you, and they will be more likely to try something scary or hard in the future if they know you won't demand or insist upon it against their will.
Once they have a solid string of positive experiences, it’s very likely that you'll start to see moments of joy creep in (or at least moments that are not filled with pure resistance!). These joyful experiences foster motivation for them to try new and harder tasks, and you can work your way back to the academic skills they truly need to progress. Remember, success breeds momentum and momentum breeds magic.
Remember, no matter what the cause of your child’s struggle is, you can get to the bottom of it, and your child can meet with success when the right interventions are in place! Your child is lucky to have you working toward solutions for their struggles, and with intention and dedication, they will get back on the right track before you know it!
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